I am very pleased to announce that after much hushed negotiation, I have entered into business* with SABMiller™ and will be writing reviews exclusively for MillerCoors™ from here out. I am very excited to be part of the Miller™ team, and look forward to sampling their many fine, crisp, freshly brewed products.
This blog is about to taste great and be less filling™. It’s Miller Time™.
For the inaugural review, my new corporate friends asked me to review an old favorite that is often overlooked by the new-age craft beer community. No, I’m not talking about Miller High Life™ or Mickey’s™ or Olde English 800™. I’m talking about the pride of Milwaukee, the first thing people think of whenever Wisconsin is mentioned. Well, the first thing they think of after cheese, the Green Bay Packers, well-crafted power tools, and a rich heritage of French fur trading dating back to the 1800s.
That’s right: Milwaukee’s Best Premium™.
This manly-yet-effervescent warrior-beer was first brewed by the A. Gettleman Brewing Company in 1895. Purchased in a moment of divine inspiration by Miller Brewing Company™ in 1961, the Milwaukee’s Best™ brand has expanded to include the calorically challenged Milwaukee’s Best Light™ and the fractionally frozen Milwaukee’s Best Ice™. It boasts a solid and respectable 4.3% ABV, and you can be damn sure it makes its mortgage payments on-time, sometimes even paying down a portion of the principal just because.
We all consumed our fair share of Milwaukee’s Best™ in college, or vocational school, or after work on the loading dock while our supervisor totally wasn’t looking, but have we ever really appreciated the craftsmanship of this storied piece of liquid Americana?
The Review:
Color: SRM 2. Pale yellow, like the first mewling rays of a dawning Spring sun casting pure warmth and energy across your face or the delicate yellow of a just-bloomed daffodil, slightly wilting, dancing on the wind with innocence and potential.
Aroma: Faint but Pavlovian hints of subtle hopping followed by friendly, gentle malt notes, the kind that would probably help an old lady cross the street with her groceries if the opportunity ever presented itself and the malt wasn’t running late for work.
Taste: A tour de force of complex flavors. Bubbles. Water. Corn. Pasta? Milwaukee’s Best Premium™ engulfs the palette but leaves enough room to savor complementary flavors like seven-layer dip or Buffalo Wild Wings™ Jammin’ Jalapeño™ boneless chicken wings.
Overall: I can’t recommend this beer enough. Be careful when you drink it though, your wife/neighbor/cat/house plants may try to steal a sip when you aren’t looking, trying to experience the decadent wonders of this masterpiece of art turned alcoholic beverage.
11 out of 10.
“There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.”
― Arthur Conan Doyle
*I have not actually entered into business with SABMiller in any way, shape, form, or legal sense. I am completely full of shit and should never be taken seriously. Ever.
Literature and Libation 
